When you help your child with their homework, you may sometimes be thinking “what are you doing? Why do you not understand what I am saying?”
I know many parents to dyslexic children have had these thoughts.
I understand you, but I also understand your child, because I have also been in a position where I didn’t understand any of my homework. After all, the letters didn’t make any sense.
It is also completely natural to be unable to understand us with dyslexia if you haven’t had any trouble making the letters stick.
When you understand your child’s thoughts, emotions, and actions, you can be the best parent that your dyslexic child could possibly want.
I can help you achieve that.
Use the apps and tools
Have you also thought about what apps and programs that are best? Then your child could get their homework done without issues…
The dyslexic brain
Have you also been wondering if there is something wrong with your dyslexic child’s brain? That is, why the head cannot comprehend those pesky letters.
Accepting the dyslexia
Is your child also finding it difficult to talk about their thoughts and emotions when the letters are teasing them?
UNDERSTAND YOUR CHILD SO YOU CAN HELP THEM GO FURTHER
Your child might become quiet and sad when you have to do the homework. Or starts doing other things, that are way more entertaining, or might even become angry and react more externally.
Your child is not doing this because they love to be sad, upset or angry.
On the contrary, your child is probably doing it to get away from an uncomfortable situation.
In this case, it is the letters, which just don’t make any sense. They are just doodles.
It can be tough to understand their situation as a parent.
You see the result of your child’s thoughts and feelings in the actions they do. And what does that mean? And how can you help your child move past it?
When you understand what is happening, when your child sees the equivalent of hieroglyphs, you will be better equipped to help your child with their needs.
Here, I have three suggestions to how you can better understand your child:
1 – Familiarise yourself with your child’s thoughts and emotions
It can be challenging for a child to explain exactly what is happening when the letters screw up.
Therefore, you should do some research on dyslexic people’s thoughts and feelings by talking to older individuals with dyslexia who can describe it, or read about it.
It makes it easier to understand your child when he or she does not immediately write down letters on the paper when you spell words out loud or do 17 different tasks when the homework is waiting.
I have also collected a lot of knowledge about what dyslexia is right here, which you can also use.
2 – Be a parent
There is no doubt that the well-being of your child creates the best conditions for learning.
All parents want their children to thrive.
However, well-meaning parents can easily fall into the trap of focusing on “curing” dyslexia instead of prioritising well-being.
I understand the parents that do this because it is only natural to want to help your child when they are challenged.
But one thing that most dyslexic children do not need from their parents is that Mum and Dad use all their free time being tutors or teachers at home.
That way, you risk that school will take up all of your child’s space. It is not fun for your child to spend time doing something they are not very good at and experience difficulty learning.
So, my best and most loving piece of advice for you is the following:
Be a parent! Support your child with the difficult things, and familiarise yourself with your dyslexic child’s world.
But don’t allow dyslexia to take up all the space at home (it is our safe space from the letters).
If you homeschool your child, then create clear boundaries for when it is school time and you are a teacher, and when it is free time and you are a parent.
3 – Cultivate what your child is good at
Us with dyslexia are not good with letters. But we are good at many other things.
Your child is definitely also good at a lot of things.
When you understand and help to focus on what your child is good at, you have a better foundation to understand it and can also easier create a closer relationship.
By focusing on what you are good at, your self-confidence is increased. Your child sees that he or she is good at something, becomes more self-confident, and that can impact their self-worth.
Your child can better understand that he or she is good enough as they are when it is not the letters that define who they are.
Motivation to read
Would you also like to motivate your child to read more? And is it difficult to find the right “carrot”?
Learning styles as a dyslexic person
Many believe that a dyslexic person has more difficulties learning and fewer options for further education. But that is not true…
The joy of learning new things
Feelings are the primary motor for learning. Do you also wish that your child would be more eager to learn new things in school?
“I HAVE HELPED MY SON COMPLETELY WRONG”
After one of my talks, where I shared my story, a father to a boy raised his hand and said the following:
“I have realised that I, however well-meaning, have handled my son’s dyslexia in the completely wrong way. I can see that now with your story. Thank you!”
Besides being touched that my story could help him understand his son better, I was also happy for both the father and the son.
The father had discovered that dyslexia could not be fixed. It is a condition, which neither he nor his son can change.
But thanks to the dad’s newfound understanding of his son’s dyslexia, he could now help his son based on his needs – and not on the father’s non-dyslexic worldview.
All it required was a story from another dyslexic person.
Jesper Sehested
Dyslexic, author, speaker and mentor